Team Krystle vs Team Dylan

Team Krystle vs Team Dylan


After endless anticipation and years (days) in the making, we have an answer to the question the entire City of Ottawa has been asking: Are hockey players better than softball players at their own game?

There’s no shortage of fantastic male and female softball players in Ottawa, but one scrappy beer league hockey team was set to do the unthinkable and exchange the cleats for skates and wear only half the gloves they normally wear. These boys, we’ll call them the Western Warriors of the West-End are battle tested, experienced and highly competitive. Many of them have not swung a bat or have any ball experience so the odds are stacked against them.

With Dairy Queen on the line, there would be more to play for than just bragging rights.

On to the action with TK batting first, and they would take an immediate 1-0 lead on some well-placed hitting. TD would respond, scoring a few runs and showing they mean business. Over the next several innings it would be all TD as they would reach a double digit score before TK could muster another run.

A fresh-out-of-high-school Zach Cundell smashed his first career home-run while making some nice plays at 2nd base. Goalie Dan was front and centre on the mound, keeping TK guessing at the plate with some mastery pitching. Tank-top Terry tracked every ball with perfection out in center field, making it look easy while the rest of TD pulled their weight at the plate and in the field.

Things went from bad to worse as *Dupes on TK left with an apparent dislocated finger, however in hockey terms we call that the Warriors flu, when a player finds an excuse to not play anymore. With TK short a player, they would recruit a father-son combo who were playing catch in the field next to us. Dad and son were just trying to enjoy a nice afternoon together but instead were unknowingly pulled into a massacre and effectively had their day ruined.

The turmoil would continue in the TK dugout as the sisters Wale would argue over who got to be a courtesy runner. Big sis Adria would of course win that battle.

Looking to start a rally, TK called in recruits as Alex, Jake and Cindy all showed up for support. It would work as TK would gain a few runs on a rally with two outs. Jake also served as a distraction to the other team, shouting his famous line, “fuck you Dylan” while Dylan was at bat. In the end, the only support Alex, Jake and Cindy provided were more shoulders to cry on for TK.

Originally a 7 inning game, TK requested two more innings to be played which of course TD obliged, allowing them to pad their lead even more. Poor Claudia, who was scorekeeping had to keep borrowing pens due to the high amount of runs TD scored, and eventually just ran out of paper and stopped keeping track so we have no official score. Safe to say, TD won this by a large margin so we finally have an answer to the age old question. Yes, hockey players will always beat softball players at their own game. I highly doubt TK will underestimate TD again considering the amount of balls TD sees during a team shower. TD now eagerly awaits the day where Krystle will take the entire team out for their victory Dairy Queen.

*Dupes did actually injure his finger during the game and had to go to the emergency room. Wishing him a speedy recovery!

Dylan Cundell

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